TOP 15 OF 2009.

Did you know that I wrote this post on December 13? That's right, I'm using Blogger's scheduled post feature. Since I'll be traveling to Kiev then flying back to America during the time I would have been able to publish this post, I wrote it now and scheduled it to be published later. You know, to make the topic more relevant since it's a New Year's Eve-y post and all.

So, as the title suggests, here is my summation of my top 15 favorite/best/life changing things/moments/stuffs of 2009! (in no particular order) Happy New Year!

1. Russia

Duh! I only spent 4 months of the year here teaching English to some awesome kids with my awesome husband having the most awesome time of my awesome life!

2. St. Vincent's "Actor"

Particularly "Laughing with a Mouth of Blood;" the song is much more lighthearted than the title suggests.

3. This Blog

Prior to starting this thing, I wasn't even writing in my journal anymore because all my writing juices were going towards school and/or career aspirations. It's good to have an outlet. Ironically, one of my school and/or career aspirations sucking my writing juices away was Outlet.

4. Marrying Seve

This actually happened on Dec 27, 2008, but I didn't get to post it in my "TOP 15 OF 2008!" because such a list was never written because this blog didn't exist yet (see #3). Also, it's in the "TOP 15 OF MY LIFE!" so why not include it in this list since the happy event occurred a mere five days before 2009?

5. Graduating

Finally! Anyone else feel like school never ends? Because I'm here to tell you that it does. I should also note here: working as a copy editor for the Scroll was an excellent part of 2009.

6. Getting a Job

The whole point of my school existence. Dreams! Fulfilled! (It's actually a paid internship with the potential to be a full-time job once my four months end) Dreams! Nearly! Fulfilled!

7. Spokane, WA

More specifically, the advertising competition I attended there with my team for the American Advertising Federation. We got third! Yeah!

8. Bad Haircut

No, really. Taught me a lot about having confidence in who I am on the inside.

9. My Apartment

Though I wish I could put "getting a dog" here, my apartment won't allow pets. But honestly, I think we have the coolest place in Rexburg. It's a 100 year old building and we live in what used to be the presidential suite (Eleanor Roosevelt once stayed there). It has a rock wall and the last tenant gave it an excellent paint job so it's all artsy, and it has a balcony. Oh, and we can afford it.

10. Idaho

This place seriously goes underappreciated.

11. Animal Collective's "Merriweather Post Pavilion"

Such a romantic album. No, really, I mean that. First Animal Collective album where the lyrics actually speak to me.

12. Book Arts

Did I ever tell you I took a class on how to make books?

13. Bat For Lashes "Two Suns"

By the end of the day, this is always what I'm listening to.

14. Longboarding

Anyone who knows me knows I was born without an athletic bone in my body. Thanks to Seve, I now have at least five athletic bones in my body, i.e., he taught me how to longboard (and slide!) and I ain't so bad at it.

15. Celia & Joe

You know who you are.

I just realized how awesome it is that I wrote this Dec 13 and it will be published Dec 31. It's a number switcheroo! Ha!

Coming to America

Flight leaves from Kiev on Dec 22 at 5:35 a.m.

Flight arrives in Chicago on Dec 22 at 10:25 a.m.

This flight is not five hours long, people! I'm crossing the Atlantic!

I'm traveling backwards in time.

Sad and happy at the same time.

Volunteers fly out tomorrow in the early a.m. I miss them already. Feels empty and lonely here without their laughter filling my apartment. I don't care how cheesy that sounds.

Taking a break from packing. We leave tomorrow for our romantic trip to Kiev! With like, two massive suitcases each. It'll be pretty sexy lugging those around everywhere we go. But worth it? Yes.

Today.

Today it's -6˚ Fahrenheit. My daily Russian routine calls for a lot of outdoor walking. My body was so numb I felt like I was on fire.

Today was also the second to last day of school. I'm going to miss these kids so much! Fedya was too nervous to say his line in the Christmas skit (called the "Spectacle" in Russia) and got this red pouty face while Liza, next to him, kept repeating the line for him so he'd finally say it. They're both four; so cute!

Hint hint

Here, Seve.

Open Letter of Love and Affection to my Husband

Dear Seve,

When I was working for the Grand Teton National Lodge Company and missing you because we were engaged and making our wedding plans but you were in that far off land of Missouri making money for our future as a substitute teacher and I was making money as an Activities Coordinator planning client's day hikes, horseback rides and whatnot, I sat down with my boss one day for lunch and she described to me the love she felt for her own husband. They had quit their fancy executive jobs in Florida, bought a big RV, and took off on a journey around the States that left them running out of gas money by the time they reached Wyoming and they had to get a job there. They considered it part of the adventure and she was hired to be my boss and he was hired to be the boss of the people who worked across the lobby from us.

She told me that regardless of the things they were up to, fancy executive jobs or trekking Yellowstone, her love for her husband grew each day. She couldn't believe how much she loved him now. She thought she was on Full the day they married, but here they were a decade later and she loved him even more. I told her I knew what she meant and to an extent I did; I was aware that I would feel this growing love sensation as the years went by. But here we are, approaching our married-a-year mark, and I don't think my previous Teton-self knew I was capable of loving you this much.

I want to thank you for all the love and care you've given me these past two weeks that I've been sick; I know my coughing and nose blowing at night has kept you from sleep just as much as it has me. Thanks for the tea, the cuddles, the Tom Waits, the tissues, the vereniki. 

Thanks for coming to Russia with me, for teaching with me and cruising Moscow and St. Petersburg with me and translating even when I should just try to pronounce the Russian myself. Thanks for not getting so mad at me when I'm clearly being a butthead, and for apologizing when you're being a butthead. Thanks for holding my hand and draping your arm around me and whispering "I love you," and stealing kisses and not caring who's looking.

It's hard to describe the love I feel for you, it's something like a glowing feeling every time I look at you or touch you. You're my best friend, and you're a darn good kisser. You make me feel important and wanted, and I hope I make you feel the same way. Because you are important and wanted, and because I love you.

Jules

Guess What?

I GOT THE JOB!! And it ain't no khaki pants job, either.

You know what I'm saying.

;-).

Cuz' it's an American holiday, that's why!

Totally cool poster by totally cool St. Petersburg artist for some totally cool shopping.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!

From Russia.

No I in Team. Unless it's the new iTeam app!

Had my job interview today. And. it. was.

Awesome.

Can't wait to hear back about it.

I was so nervous for it. Nervous that I'd have technical difficulty being in Russia and all. Nervous I'd stutter or something, since it was a phone interview and my voice was the only human thing about me they could get to know aside from my resume.

In preparing for this interview, I learned a lot about myself. Like how much I love writing, and how it really is my greatest strength. Not as in "poems are PR33TY" but as in press releases and advertising copy. I love researching and writing that stuff, conveying the right image to the right audience, selling a product/person/idea through my words, writing scripts, coming up with Big Ideas. Writing "Adam Sandler wouldn't be caught dead with it" in order to sell classy men's deodorant. I'm into that stuff.

I realized how much I love to work. How the idea of getting up early and into my black pencil skirt gets me giddy. Like, semi-colon winky face giddy.

;-).

The idea of heading to the office with my cup of not-Joe because I'm Mormon and getting ready to get down to business and work just makes me feel so fulfilled. And working with a team. No really, I love that. Being a "team player." Some people love football, I'm the office-team kind of fan. Go team go. I did work with the AAF and it stole my heart away.

I also realized (more like remembered) how I'm a much better writer than I am a speaker. Oftentimes I over prepare for things and have so much excellent information to deliver I can't decide what to focus on and end up, well, blabbering. Example: my Keds case study is a highlight of my college career, and while I received an A++ on it, the presentation part of my grade was basically a question mark from my professor. After both viewing my presentation and reading my case study, she remarked how she couldn't believe she'd missed [insert great aspect of case study here] from my presentation because she really loved reading about it in the case study. In response, I awkwardly laughed this off while cringing on the inside because I'd obviously made my pearls look like swine upon their delivery.

Today I cast my pearls before some very not-swine-at-all professionals and forgot that I had more pearls I could have, you know, cast. Because of my over-preparation and too-much-material issues. The interview went well but I can't help but second guess myself.

College has filled my head with all kinds of aspirations so let's hope these dreams come true.

Anniversary is coming up.

!!!

I want one.

Now, now

In the list of my top five fav musical acts, St. Vincent definitely has a firm place.



Our new volunteer arrived Friday! Now the whirlwind that has been Head Teaching and taking the place of a regular teacher will hopefully die down.

We only have one month left here . . . that's sad, yet exciting, to think about. Sad because I'll miss Russia of course; exciting because it's a new chapter of my life with Seve. The "married for whole year already" chapter, the "finally graduated and getting a real job to put Seve through school and food on the table" chapter. But then again, I'm really loving the "party in Russia!" chapter. Alright, no more book metaphor.

What Kind of Blog Are You?

Having such a late teaching schedule, coming home each night Seve and I are exhausted with not much incentive to go out. Not as much as we used to, anyway. A lack of funds in the bank also keeps us in more often since Moscow is on a comparable scale of expensivness to Tokyo. And we just spent a pretty penny going out each night in St. Petersburg . . .

What I'm trying to say is: I've had a lot of time to read lately.

In the previous entry I stated I'm more into reading "what's going on now?" mediums than curling up with a Bronte classic. Aside from my usual news outlets, recently I've been into the blogging world. Discovering my friends' blogs has been like finding their diaries left open in their rooms, only not as peeping Tom-ish since they're holding the bedroom door wide open and offering me to take a peek.

Here are some types of blogs I've come across, without reference to any of the actual friends' blogs I've been reading:

1. The Mormon-Mommy Blog, seen at its best here and at its most satirized here. These things have picked up in popularity and almost seem like a requisite process for young LDS newlywed females everywhere after the honeymoon has ended. Posts about crafts, cooking, summer fun, IKEA, moving in, and "loving life" are frequent. Side-bar baby tickers, scripture/general authority quotes, Etsy shops and layouts that look like scrapbooking pages help to distinguish these blogs right away. Being Mormon myself, these blogs make me feel at home and alienated at the same time. Maybe because I grew up nowhere near Utah?
2. The Fashionista Blog, explored here, here, and here. These things either have a "OMG looky!" tone or an artistic might-as-well-be-speaking-in-whispers tone. Or they're just written in mimics of the editorials the writers themselves read in their "glossies." Some have clean, white layouts (another "glossy" mimic) while others have antique wallpaper backgrounds. The layouts reflect the style of the authors themselves, which range from avant-garde to 1940's pining with various Forever21 looks in between. Either way, be prepared for 3-10 photographs per entry of the author in various modelesqe poses and descriptions of what they're wearing/where they bought it. And lots of references to designers only the Milan elite, and, well, they care about.
3. The Job Blog, seen here and here. These are the kind that come to mind when one says "blog". Authors write about their day to day lives, including anecdotes here and there and photos where appropriate. Namely these showcase the projects they're working on, and inspiration for those projects via a playlist or another artist's work. These are blogs owned by businesses, individual artists, musicians, or novelists, etc. These are the blog norm, and are true to the idea that blogs are in fact public and do not need to include any deeply personal details about the author. In fact, they never get any deeper than the kind of content one would use in basic conversation. Just enough information to satisfy a fan, usually.
4. The Suicide Blog, which I won't provide a reference for because I'd dread an author ever finding out I named it this. These were more popular in my teen years, because all my teen friends had one, including me. These are teen angsty, include a lot of song lyrics, poorly written poetry, and aspirations for NaNoWriMo. They are bipolar in that the authors jump from overly happy posts of mall purchases to overly dramatic posts of break-ups and bad grades. The sadness of these blogs is that the authors have grown up, and are still blogging. Entries that once dealt with a bad day at school now confide to readers tales of bad marriages, debt, and depression that oftentimes carries suicidal undertones. These blogs are treated like real diaries, with entries that make the audience uncomfortable with the details offered, or open up the author to mockery by less kind readers.
5. The Editorial Blog, here and here. If you really think about it, there are two kinds of blogs out there: those that reveal the author, and those that don't. Either you're writing about yourself or you're writing about something else, as in you're writing as if the blog is a column. These blogs are informative, sometimes written by multiple authors and focus on one topic such as music, art, video games or baking with squash. More exciting are the witty, mysterious, one-liner and/or mini-story blogs. Personality is found only in the writing style itself, gender/age/location is a tossup, and no profile pages or about-me sections exist so your computer may as well have generated the posts. But when these blogs pick up in popularity, book deals usually bring these authors into the public eye.

Did you notice my use of Blogspot's handy numbered-bulleting feature? Mm hmm.

Of course, these are only a few, and don't include the whopping majority of the blogosphere: the "My name is Ed and I just did a buttload-o-laundry today!" blog; the blogging style 11 out of 10 bloggers normally use. Something similar to Blog #3 only written by the average Joe, the you and the me. Sometimes accompanied by a "currently listening to/reading/craving/watching/grinding" status. Personally, I'd like to be more like Blog #3, and worry that I've become too much like Blog #5 while looking like Blog #2. I didn't even mention the blogs out there written by celebrities pretending to be someone else, which is how some writers got their celebrity start to begin with (see: Diablo Cody).

I grew up blogging. I've had all kinds of blogs, and thanks to the great storage closet that is the Internet, they are all still out there somewhere to be read by anyone desperate enough to find them. Where I'm trying to steer this post is to the fact that the blog I currently, well, blog in, doesn't reveal a lot of me aside from my quirky thoughts and big-A pictures. Because no one ever did read those other blogs I wrote, and for the first time in my blogging life, I want to be read.

Anyone who knows me personally knows I already have an upfront "here I be in Moscow" blog for family that borderlines Blog #1. But I don't feel like it's me writing in it so much as it's me explaining life in Russia to my Grandmas.

So, what I'm trying to say is, I'd like to reveal more of the real me in this blog. And until any of the photos I snap of me and my husband reach a good, desirable lomo quality, that just might happen.

Rand & Capote highlighted speakers at the Ego Conference, Dylan & Prince to perform (separately, of course)

It's no secret that I'm not a great cook. I'm into simple baking.

I'm also not incredibly well read. I'm more of a newspapers 'n magazines kinda girl. 

This novel I really enjoyed. A dog catcher who unwillingly dawns on werewolf gangs schmoozing the streets of L.A., East L.A., and the entire thing written in free verse? I'm not about to pretend I enjoyed reading something as pretenious as The Fountainhead; no, this is the kind of stuff that gets me interested.

FYI, I have a job interview. For a job I'm really excited for.

Everyone's got sweet shoes here

My husband and I are visiting St. Petersburg this week. While on our way to the Russian Museum and St. Isaac's Cathedral (ha, yeah!) we exited the wrong end of our metro stop and found neither. No worries, we ventured and explored and found a hipster junk-made-into-stuff store. They sold clocks made out of bicycle parts, knitted dolls, earrings made out of single kopecks (that, ironically, cost 7000 kopecks) and a computer-keyboard guitar.

Think of a regular keytar, only instead of a musical keyboard it's the kind you're currently typing on. All the employees had asymmetrical haircuts and some not-quite-techno, not-quite-folk music was playing. I tell ya, this is the Russia that tugs on my heartstrings. More on that later. Also, we saw that awesome new Michael Jackson film. Also, I'm excited to see Whip It when I get back to the States. Catch the tie-in? Oh, so witty.

Haha!

$34?

Sometimes I wake up in the night and think "Holy smokes! Where am I?" and have to remind myself I'm in Russia and all my peeps are in America wide awake doing American things. Sometimes I'm wide awake at noon and think "Holy smokes! This place is expensive," and have to remind myself I'm in Russia and all my peeps are in America where leggings cost $4.50 like they should.

Maybe Frankenstien? Or a Mime? Zombie? Minnie Mouse?

I needs a Halloween costume.

Ghouls

My little Russian children are so funny. This is a fact I sometimes don't grasp until after teaching. Not as in, "teaching is so NUTS I just can't laugh whilst teaching" but as in I'm so absorbed with keeping the lesson on track I sometimes forget the funnyhahaness that comes with a language barrier.

Today during class Dasha accidentally spilled her water all over the October calendar I made for the month. I spent a long time on that thing, so my spirits dampened right along with the newly droopy drippy ghosts that graced that thing. Before I could let my disappointment show, the rest of the kids beat me to it. After a moment of shock, Elina uttered "No . . . the October . . ." and Senya whispered "Halloween . . . " as if the accident erased the holiday itself. Dasha started this very dramatic-for-a-7-yr-old silent and teary cry, face glowing red and head in her hands, so I gathered everyone in to give her a group hug while we mourned the loss of our favorite month.

Only now do I realize how funny that was. Ha! "The October . . ."

More cute news: world's most stylish bunny

This Beat is [Sic]

I'm a sucker for those "25 Free Downloads!" from urbanoutfitters.com. And I always end up being disappointed by them. But look: pretentious ear candy -- for free? An opportunity to intimidate my less musically inclined friends with pre-packaged taste? Besides, anything free in this economy always leads to the thoughts, "why of course WHYNOT?" Especially when it's being offered by a store that sells "This economy sucks" t-shirts for $24.99. Dense.

Anyway, the playlist usually ends up being the kind of music heard in indie B-films that don't play with much of a plot (other than existential life-whining) but are just so pretty to look at. Gorgeous paintings that move for two hours usually made by another awkward white person who is into traveling, you know? When the song comes on you think "sogoodmustdownload" but later, when you listen to it by yourself, you're like "Eff you, Sundance."

Imagine my surprise when I came across this little gem: TV on the Radio dude Kyp Malone's side project Rain Machine and the magic that is "Give Blood." Like, gag me with a spoon, I was so pleased. Made the whole half-hour it took to download the playlist worth it. Not that I was just sitting there waiting for it to download, I was busy making instant potatoes and turkey gravy for my husband of course.

On that note, I thoroughly enjoy "side projects" made by lead singers of other bands. Side project? Really? Or TV on the Radio take #2? What distinctive feature has been brought to this new project that couldn't already be found in the last one, good fellow? Why don't you and Thom Yorke hash that one out over tea, right after analyzing the fame-starved card trick that is "guest" singers.

Sarcasm aside, I love your work Kyp. Keep it up.

A Matter of Taste

I have a deep, passionate, disemboweling appreciation for Animal Collective. And by that I just mean they're pretty cool and I like to play their tunes every once in a while, especially their latest album.

I love living in Moscow but sometimes I feel like I'm in the Great & Spacious Building. Stuff is a top priority out here. The scent of materialism is thick and foggy. This gloomy, glittery city echoes high heel clacks off of St. Basil's. I feel sorry for the rest of the Russian Federation.


Article for some lite reading: Keeping up with the Joneskis.


am I really all the things that are outside of me?
would I complete myself without the things I like around?

The Skinniest Ol' Jeans in the Whole Wide World

Lately I've been reading through journal entries from days long past and coming across entries where I state I'm feeling a creative burst. Like "This film was inspiring," or "I just love the work of Ray Bradbury," or "I just bought some red go-go boots!" Others highlight a creative slump: "There's a void where my pen used to be," "I feel so behind the times, I don't even own a lomo," or "I got up early to work out today but instead made nachos."

When you're young you're working to become someone, either by working in college towards career aspirations or working spiritually or artistically or trying to find out who you are or whatever. You wake up in the morning and you don't know what to wear school. Your attempt at a heartfelt novel is lacking because all you can write about are 20-somethings addicted to drugs though you haven't tried any. When all else fails you turn to your digital camera, because you can hide the pain in your fashionable wardrobe and cheeky avatar.

Times have changed. Life is just different now. I don't write novels, my mom does. No more dating woes, now I date my husband. Taxes, bills, health care and groceries are suddenly upfront dealwithmenow concerns. I didn't have Facebook as a kid, it wasn't even around--just a Geocities homepage and three friends who were anything close to internetty. Now the whole world is on Facebook and inviting me to "I need your number!!" events. The first time I saw skinny jeans I thought "sicky gross gross." Now I have a closet full and groan if I have to wear those required flared khakis to work. Wait, no, I don't even have a khaki pants job anymore. Now Showing: My Life in Black Pencil Skirts.

I'm not old by any means, I'm 24. My egocentric journal entires are fewer and far between now that I'm done with my coming-of-age story. It's all of-age-and-counting from here on out. Now, I write about other people. My husband, my friends, my family, my desire to have children, my sister's desire to have children, the children I teach in Moscow. I get to write about Moscow! My husband and I are doing what most couples have to wait to do after retirement, after kids are raised and gone, after debt is reined in to a manageable state. But here we are, poor as can be, living it up in glamorous and gloomy Moscow.

I'm happier now than I was growing up.

Teenagers. by Jules featuring Alexander Wang tops

Oh that Fashion

I'm into fashion, but not in such a way that I'd ever blog about it.

LIES.

Behold:

But really, I don't think I'll ever post pictures of myself pantless in a poofy shouldered blazer with an oversized beanie and my head cocked to the side like I don't realize I'm taking a picture of myself.

Blogging vs. Jules

So I'm going to try this blogging thing out. Blogging and I have actually been acquainted for a long time, what with the worlds of livejournal, vox, and pitas, but I kind of want to start afresh. Kind of like getting a new date for the weekend. Friday's dinner didn't work out but you're like "Saturday brunch right around the corner! Hope he takes me to Thai! No,really, I'd be into that at like 11am." So here I go with Blogspot, capitalized for respect. Honestly the only reason I got this thing is because EVERYBODY uses Blogspot. I really loved my vox but I couldn't HTML it the way I wanted so here goes Saturday brunch.

How about a video! Yeah!

And a link to a site I love but can't afford, boo.
http://www.pixiemarket.com/

Lion in a coma

I love keeping up with various friends on blogs. Unfortunetley, my closest buds don't bother blogging, or Facebooking for that matter. Actually, I'm not consistent enough with Facebook either. Oh, well.

I've been up to so much lately. I twisted my ankle longboarding a month ago while power sliding but it's all fine now. I went power sliding again this weekend just fine. I wish I had several photos to post of my new longboarding past time; hopefully I will later. Since I've gone through life with no athletic ambition whatsoever longboarding is a pretty big step for me. And it's not just pushing around on the board for fun, we bomb big hills and I've got these crazy gloves with pucks I wear . . . you know, I'll just show you:

I ride the new Landyachtz Spud which actually has a dip in it that makes it pretty close to the ground; it helps me to ride better with my small size.

I graduate in a few days! Then Seve and I will be spending a week in Portland enjoying the beach, Chinatown, hiking, the temple, and longboarding of course. And after that, Russia! 

I'm going to try a new thing where I feature the songs I name my posts after at the end of each post:

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I am one of two planets dancing

I am TOTALLY digging the latest from St. Vincent and Bat for Lashes right now. Annie and Natasha could win my heart any day of the week.

Remember that post I made several weeks ago about regretting my major? Now everything has fallen into place: I recently attended an advertising conference in Spokane and had a blast. It was actually a competition (our school came in third) and I was part of a team that put together a campaign against binge drinking. I wrote most of the presentation and much of the copy for our book, not to mention a lot of the copy on our ads. I have thus found my niche: copy writing. All that time spent in publishing could not garner the satisfaction I've felt in the past month -- but clearly I needed that experience to get where I am currently. I am a copy editor for the Scroll, my school's newspaper, and I'm taking an ad conception class that has proven itself to be vigorous and time consuming, but also a great portfolio-builder. And strangely, I'm having the time of my life. Of course, I'm married to an outstanding dude who's teaching me how to longboard, so that adds to my current joy. And did I mention my latest ear candy?

We recently moved into a cool new apartment with a balcony. It's in downtown Rexburg and the building was a hotel about 100 years ago; we live in what used to be the Presidential Suite -- Eleanor Roosevelt once stayed here! Now we do.

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Heart right pierced by a pin

cupcake letter

For the last day of class, we were instructed to write a letter to anyone we wanted. And to bring treats, it being the last day and all.

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Let me in your window

I'm currently writing my last English research paper, ever. I've decided to really have some fun with this one.

I'm using this as a source.

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That feel

Via Twyla Tharp:

 

What's the dumbest idea you've ever had? Thinking I can have it all.

What's the best idea you've ever had? Thinking I can have it all.

 

I know what she means.

 

Remember that post I made on my rapid-fire music trade-ins? Lately I've been obsessing over Tom Waits, Daniel Johnston, Deer Tick, Destroyer, and a reemergence of my love for the Pixies. And I've started up a little writing project, a gift for my new husband, working title Oh My Love! Also, my Interpersonal Communications class is putting on a talent show (how fifth grade, no?) so I'll be showcasing some of my published works and offering a little five-minute reading of something funny. Either that or I'll bake something. My sister might be a professional chef, but I have my own knack for baking. I'll post some pictures later of the heart cake, cream puffs, and Valentine's Day cupcakes I made with my hubby. Life is sweet. Ha! I'm so punny. 

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Where are you going to?

Alright, I think it's time for me to unveil my latest happy: Seve and I are going to teach English in Russia this fall. It's through the same program I went to China with, only this time I've been hired on as a Head Teacher. Which means I get to go for free, and I'm offered a stipend. As my husband, Seve goes for free too. He served his two-year mission in Ukraine (which is the reason why he's a sophomore and I'm a senior yet we're the same age) so he speaks Russian and Ukrainian fluently. We'll be teaching in either Moscow or Voronezh, and we've made special arrangements to spend an extra week in Kiev at the end, since my husband misses Ukraine like crazy. I also found out a girl I went to China with is going to Moscow as well, and my last Head Teacher and her husband might fly over for a visit since she spent two semesters there before. I'm so . . . what's the best word to choose here? Stoked? Ecstatic? Happy in general? My life has fallen into so many wonderful things these past few years, it just seems unreal.

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You're the cocaine in my veins

So I've been reflecting a lot on old goals and old things that used to matter so much to me and how they've kind of faded. I used to be so into finding and discovering and knowing and learning new music, books, art, film, travel, everything and, I don't know what happened, I don't know when that part of me trailed off. I've been trying to address depression and anxiety head on, and I've come to the conclusion that I hate my chosen career path. I mentioned in a few posts earlier my love of YA lit, and that still stands. What I mean is my major, this Communication with the Bachelor's of in front of it that I've been working towards. Publishing isn't even offered at my school, I've had to pave my own way. Which has helped me to network, but here I am, in my last semester, about to graduate and finally scraping in all those classes that I need in order to get the degree. And none of them are classes I enjoy, I'm just taking them to finish everything off. For the first time, I truly detest my semester. I have no fall -back joy-class, no side project to keep me distracted because there is no time for one this time around.

My husband is passionate and so in love with his path, I find myself growing green with envy when he talks about it. I want so much to shove all these classes aside and work on what I want to work on, which only leads me to the anger of Why did you ever sign up for a degree in which you can't get what you what? I know all this editing, journalism and advertising experience is good for me, but it's nothing that I want after I make the walk in April.

You know what I want? The new Animal Collective album. To write the last two novels I outlined for "future completion." To move back to Portland, or just somewhere completley new. To have an interest graphic design again.

I shouldn't complain. Things are actually going really well.

happy

I just wish whatever creative rocketship I was on three years ago would come back into my orbit. I mean, I don't even own a lomo camera. How behind am I?  

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This is the first day of my life

 

On the coldest, windiest day ever, I declared my love eternal. In the beautiful Lubbock, Texas Temple. Really, how can I describe my wedding day in a blog?  

wedding

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