After watching the entire fourth season of Scrubs with my roommates (laundry day), I developed a crush on Zach Braff. So, today I rented The Last Kiss. I feel depressed and have abandoned all hopes for a stable relationship in the future. I know that sounds exaggerated, but the film really depressed me, even after the "resolved" ending.
While I struggle with my religion, this past week has brought me closer to it. After that movie, it made me happy to know I'm in a religion, and, well, culture that puts a good emphasis on marriage and relationships. I've been feeling terrible about my Mormon status, but after my "year off," and my engagement that didn't work out . . . well, I am back here in school, my Mormon school, and Ben and I didn't get married because I'm Mormon, because I wanted to marry in the temple, to a Mormon. I've been a ridiculous rebel, too bad for the Mormons and too good for the rest. But maybe I'm finally coming closer to the things I've always wanted, inching towards actually being a good person.
When I say I'm glad to be in my faith for its emphasis on marriage, I don't mean that other faiths and cultures don't have that same emphasis, and I don't mean to say that I've always enjoyed that emphasis. It's a joke at my school that everyone gets married so young, a flaw in Mormon culture that everyone teases but can't wait to engage in (haha, engage). But we do believe in eternal marriage; that it's something so sacred and the one thing we should seek for in this life. It's a hoplessly romantic notion, but I believe in it, I do. And whether or not I'm right, whether or no it's true, I don't know, but I want to be with someone who believes in it too. Wouldn't it be nice to know that someone geniunly wants to be with you forever?
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